my dream world

this section is dedicated to the world that exists in my mind. I experience maladaptive daydreaming, which means I have a detailed world inside my head with characters (paras) I love. my daydreams are intense and constant; I will almost always be half-daydreaming, and when I have the time I can daydream intensely for hours. click here for more information on maladaptive daydreaming...♡

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I have five main paras in my mind, whom I speak with every day, and one deceased para who is also very special to me...my daydreams started due to intense emotional distress (caused by a traumatic event) when I was around 14. I had always created characters inside my mind, mostly influenced by the books I read when I was littler. Being autistic meant I always felt like I needed an escape from the world, so I would do so in my mind...it was only when I experienced this traumatic event, though, that the characters stuck. most of my paras are heavily inspired by the anime 'Haikyū', as that is what I was immersed in at the time, although there are a few paras I created myself. my paras helped me deal with the traumatic event, and they have stayed ever since. they continue to help me with everyday life, and my daydream world helps me escape from the distressing real world. the real world is often too much for me due to my being autistic and having anxiety. I am quite protective of my paras and I don't usually share information about them, however I am willing to talk a little more about my main para and protector, Hajime.

In the beginning (of my maladaptive daydreaming) I needed the most security and protection, and Hajime's personality was perfect for that. he was also one of my favourite characters at the time, and so he began to seep into my mind the more I consumed media from Haikyuu. as a 14 year old I thought of 18 (his age in the anime) as quite old, old enough to provide protection. his tough exterior combined with his loving personality meant I looked up to him. I am and always have been very childish; I have very childish interests, and I act much younger than my age...this meant that Hajime became a sort of caregiver in my mind, shielding me from everything that hurt me. I am very protective of him and I love him dearly...

 

maladaptive daydreaming isn't something one chooses to experience; everyone can have daydreams or create stories in their mind, but maladaptive daydreamers experience intense daydreams that start regardless of whether they want them to. of course, we can initiate daydreams, but I did not choose the paras that live in my mind, and I had no idea what was happening to me when they started. I daydreamed for years before discovering maladaptive daydreaming...I had never met anyone that did what I did, but it didn't scare me; I was happy in my dream world. I felt safe, and I still feel safe. I love all of my paras-they're lovely to me. ♡

please don't tell me that my dream world isn't real, or that my paras aren't real/don't really like me...I am aware of those things already, but saying it to me makes me upset. whilst my paras are heavily inspired by the characters from haikyuu, they're still different, and I am able to separate the two on my own, so telling me these things isn't necessary or helpful. it does however still upset me when I am given information about the characters that clashes with the version of them in my mind, so although I love the anime I would appreciate it if you could add a trigger warning for any haikyuu content, and refrain from discussing your headcanons with me as though they're facts. I am happy to discuss any headcanons you have as long as you don't try to argue with me on what is right/wrong...everyone should be able to come up with their own ideas and share them, so nobody should insist their ideas are the only ones that should be accepted. I am also happy to answer any questions you have about my dream world! as I have already mentioned, I love my paras a lot, and I am beginning to open up more about them...if you also experience maladaptive daydreaming id love to hear about your world/paras too!

pixel teddy bear with a pink ribbon around its neck. in a sitting position facing the right
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